Why Our 20s Are the Most Important Decade of Adulthood

These are some of the most important questions of ones life which mostly remains unanswered:


 Why do people think their 20's don't matter?

 It's because a lot of the developmental milestones are happening later now. People get married later, they have their kids later, career sort of takes its form a bit later. We die later. So there's this sense that we have a lot of time. And when someone tells you that you have extra time to do something, you feel like, 'Well, what I do today doesn't matter.' Think back to when you were in college and a professor said you have three extra weeks to write a paper. You probably didn't say, 'I've got three extra weeks to make that even better than I would have.' No, you're thinking, 'I've got three weeks; I don't need to think about this until the night before.' It's just human behavior.

So what career mistakes do twenty-somethings make?

The only mistake not worth making is doing something that is a placeholder, or that you're aware is killing time, that this doesn't matter. If those are the words you're saying to yourself, that's probably a mistake. Another mistake would be spending too much time on something when it becomes clear that it isn't the thing (you want to do). I'm all for exploration; I spent my early 20s as an Outward Bound instructor. Just make sure it's conscious, productive, rather than stalling.

A lot of twenty-somethings would say they'd love to make a conscious choice about their careers, but can't because of the economy. How do you respond?

It's tough; I'm not going to say that it isn't. But it's more empowering, rather than saying, 'What has the economy done to me?' to say, 'What am I going to do about it?' There's a great saying that I actually got in fortune cookie one time: 'A wise man makes his own luck.' A lot of twenty-somethings do have jobs; they have good jobs, or great jobs. And those usually come through 'weak ties.' That's how you make your luck as a twenty-something. Have the courage to ask people for a favor, or an interview, or an informational interview, a phone call on your behalf. You'd be surprised by how willing people are to open the door for a twenty-something who asks.

So, if you're managing someone in his twenties, what's your advice?

Twenty-somethings in my practice often fall in two groups. One group wants a good job. The other has a good job and they're terrified they're going to lose it. A lot of managers have heard the myths and stereotypes about twenty-somethings: that they're so entitled and they're so obnoxious, whatever. Truly the ones who have gotten themselves into good jobs (are stressed). The twenty-something brain is especially sensitive to criticism and correction. That doesn't mean they shouldn't hear it, but it means managers may not understand how often that person is crying in the bathroom or coming into my office and saying, 'Oh my gosh, my manager sent me a not-nice email; I think he's going to fire me.' ... People forget that twenty-somethings are new in the work world and that that's an overwhelming experience.

You just completed a 14-minute reading my blog. How's it feel to be finished with it? 

This one is for you to answer...


Obviously, most of us don't realize that they have wasted their 20's until they are in the 50's....