If You Lose Your Job, Avoid These 3 Things

Back in 2008, right at the exact time the economy collapsed, my career collapsed. I found myself without a job…no warning, no severance, and quite frankly, no good reason.

As clearly as if it happened 5 minutes ago, I remember sitting there with my mouth gaping open, staring at the messenger of this news, not knowing what to do…I was literally paralyzed while my life flashed before my eyes.

This was the first time in my professional career anything like this had ever happened to me. It was so startling to me! What made it even more bizarre was that I was actually crushing all the goals that had been given to me in the job. How could this happen to me?!?! 

Over the next few weeks, after telling my wife and kids what happened and realizing how bad our financial situation was about to get, I went through a rollercoaster of emotions. From shock, terror and sadness, to just downright pissed off! Not only was this a terrible thing, but it was at a time in our economy when no jobs were even available.

If you are, or ever have been in this position, your anger is totally normal. If you haven’t ever been through this, be prepared for it anyway.

Here are 3 things you need to avoid after you are fired or “laid off”:

• Never Let Them See You Sweat (or even turn red) – Each day I would wake up at 5am and start scouring the internet for jobs. I applied for everything that could possibly work and then some. My goal was to get at least get 3 interviews per week, but some weeks I was lucky to have any. The prime window after you lose your job is the first 2 months. You will have many jobs you can apply for, and thus a greater chance for interviews. After several weeks of applying and interviewing, I still didn’t have a job offer and I found out why. I was on the phone with a recruiter one day. She was talking with me about a position with a company she represented. After speaking with me for about 30 minutes she said, “Paul, let me tell you something. First, I want you to know that although I am a recruiter, I do not work on behalf of the candidates...rather, I work for the employer. Thus, I have to protect the employer from bad candidates. While I like you and see a very solid resume here, I can’t recommend that they talk with you. The reason is that when you told me about this last position you were in, I could hear all kinds of anger in your voice. My advice to you, Paul, is that if you want a job, you had better deal with that anger and get past it. No one will hire you if you cannot let it go.” This advice from her was solid and she was right. Employers do not want angry employees and they can smell anger a mile away. When you badly need a job, you have to consider that each time you get an interview, you are being granted a chance to get your life back on track. Do not blow any of those chances, by talking about how you were wronged. Instead, talk about how you learned from the experiences you had there and how it made you grow (while smiling the entire time). It’s not easy, but it will make a world of a difference. Yes, you were wronged! Yes, it is horribly painful. No, you cannot show it at all if you want a job. Life goes on, C’est la vie…let it go, my friend.

• Don't Try to Control The Weather - There are things in this world that you can control, such as what time you get up, how many phone calls you make or job applications you fill out, and even which outfit you wear to an interview. On the other hand, there are many things you cannot control and you have to stop trying to do it anyway. Years ago I figured this stress reduction trick out. You see, I was walking around in a world of complete and total anxiety. I was a walking bundle of nerves. My brain wouldn’t stop thinking about all of these things I wanted to have happen in a specific way and at a specific time. One day, after feeling extremely worn out, it dawned on me…I said to myself, “Paul, you are going to die a young man if you keep thinking about so many stressful things…focus on those things that you have direct control over and let the rest go!”. Yes, it would be awesome if the employer you just interviewed with yesterday would make you a job offer today. It’s likely not going to happen and more importantly, it’s outside your powers. Sure, it would be best if the lady with 50 items in her grocery basket wasn’t checking out in the “10 Items or Less” line, but it’s too late, she is. Dwelling on things that you cannot control in this world will make your hair fall out five times faster (trust me, I have a receding hairline to prove it) and it will do you no good. Put your energy and mental focus only into those things which you can directly impact. That should be enough to worry about.

• Don't Judge Yourself by Your Job! (aka,Your Career Is Not What’s in the Mirror) - Many years ago there was a great skit on Saturday Night Live, that I still use for therapy to this day. Al Franken played the part of Stuart Smalley. His character was the main character in a fake TV show called “Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley”. In his self-help show, and he was always starting the show by looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”. After losing your job, you will go through many times where you feel alone and small. If you have go and stand in the unemployment line, it will be a very humbling experience, to say the least. There will likely be many jobs that you are not offered. With all of this in play, it is quite common to feel like you have lost your mojo. You really are good enough and smart enough! You need to make sure that you never mix who you are with what you do for a living. When you think of yourself, taking your career out of the mix completely, you will see that you are a good person who is very talented and capable. Losing your job never changed that. Take a minute to remind yourself of all that you have accomplished and all that you can do, each and every day. If you smile and give yourself this pep talk each day, you will find that your interviews will go better and that job you are looking for will be right around the corner. By the way, when you are feeling low, you should sing a little song I wrote, called “Focus on the Finish Line”.

NOTE: In a previous article I wrote, “Empathize With the Unemployed”, I spoke about some of these emotions and stressors that the unemployed folks go through. It’s so important for us all to be aware of how to cope with things like this, which can be so debilitating. If you know anyone who is unemployed, I hope this article gave you some perspective and that you will offer a pat on the back and maybe an opportunity to help them get back on their feet.

Keep Management Happy (and Off Your Back!) In 2 Emails

All managers have expectations, and you need to keep your manager happy. In sales, this happiness is often measured daily or weekly. Some managers tell you right out what their expectations are. Others hint around it. Still others say nothing, and hope for good numbers. It is important to understand what the expectations are, because they will keep you from trying to reinvent the wheel. No matter what your manager's style is, get clear on the expectations, and adjust when they change.

Most management expectations are built on history in your market, and they’ve discovered which ratios and activities yield the desired results. Do as they ask. Eventually, you may discover that management isn’t as married to each activity as much as it is to hitting their numbers, and you can change tactics to get there. Maybe you’ll discover that the only thing that works is following their formula. The point is, the decisions you make about how to plan your work need to take management expectations into consideration, and meet their needs. If you don’t meet their needs, you will be replaced. It’s harsh, but it’s true.

A very effective tool for spending time efficiently is to keep management in the loop is to write the broad strokes of your plan for the week in a simple email, and send it to your manager. “I have follow ups with A, B, and C companies for sales calls. X, Y and Z have closing appointments scheduled. I’ll be cold-calling in Bergen County in the mid-week.” Send it on Friday night or Monday morning. No, telling her in a quick moment in the hallway isn’t enough! If your manager has specific expectations, you’ve told her the highlights of how you’re planning to meet them. If your manager has no expectations, she knows what you’re doing. And when your manager wants you to focus in a different area, she’ll write back or tell you. You’ll know before you blow your time on the wrong stuff.

This approach also seems to keep micro-managers off your back. Just remember to send a follow-up email at the end of the week explaining your accomplishments. If something went badly, admit it, and indicate how you plan to remedy the situation. This should not be in the same email as the “Plan” email! Identify each with the specific dates they cover so you can quickly reference them over time. Ex: “X and Y closed as expected. The contracts are in fulfillment. Z is shopping the competition, and has concerns about the sales agreement. Another meeting is scheduled next week. Cold calls yielded 6 follow-up calls in Bergen County. Company A was a one call close, and the contract is on your desk! B scheduled a presentation for Monday morning. C has a closing appointment with us Tuesday.” This simple summary shows your boss what your piece of her team is doing, and helps her make effective management decisions.

All of this communication creates a paper (email) trail that will be helpful to you at review time, as it will be easy for you and your manager to quantify your efforts and your results. You'll also be able to look back and see patterns emerge around certain sales approaches and subsequent success or failure. All this in two emails a week! Get writing!

How to Spot a Bad Boss Before you start a new job

If you’ve been in the workforce long enough, you know the feeling of having a bad boss. You stay up late, refusing to surrender to sleep because it means going to work the next day. You wake up dreading going to work, hitting the snooze button multiple times before dragging yourself out of bed. You feel an uncomfortable sense of almost magnetic repulsion as you approach your office door. At work, you’re on edge, and can’t shake the sense of imminent catastrophe. Everyone is walking around on eggshells. Weekends become a refuge where put your mind as far away from work as possible and you shudder at the thought of Monday.

Bad bosses are terrible for your career. They’re terrible for companies. They’re terrible for the economy and, in a wider sense, they’re terrible for society. We’ve all encountered bosses who project their own insecurities onto other people by carving out small fiefdoms and ruling them with an iron fist. These bosses are hypocritical in what they demand of their employees verses what they themselves accomplish. They issue orders instead of leading. They micromanage. And they refuse to take accountability.

When you start a new role, it sometimes takes weeks or more before realizing you’re stuck with a bad boss. But is it possible to spot a bad boss before you start a new job? Are there any signs in an interview that can tip you off that you should run in the other direction?

Here are 5 questions you should ask yourself during an interview to help determine whether you’ve got a good or bad boss on your hands:

1. How do the other employees seem when you come in for the interview?

When you go into a new office, observe the body language of other employees in the workspace. If they avoid eye contact, or seem sullen or disengaged, dissatisfaction with the supervisor might be the culprit. If it’s for a more senior-level role, does the hiring manager let you interview with peers? A good boss will be conscientious of building a thriving ecosystem, and he or she will want buy-in from other members of the team before adding to it. A boss who’s overly controlling will isolate the members of the team they supervise. So pay attention to interactions with current employees, or lack thereof.

2. Does the supervisor speak overly negatively of previous employees?

Recruiters and career experts often give candidates the piece of advice that you should never speak negatively about a previous role in an interview. It makes sense. You don’t want the employer to think that you’re going to badmouth this job if and/or when you move on. But hiring is a two-way street, and candidates need to be just as mindful of similar behaviour in hiring managers. A boss who speaks overly negatively about previous employees might have unrealistic standards of behaviour, or they might be overly willing to throw their team under the bus for their own failings.

3. Are they distracted in the interview or overly pushy?

You should have a certain tolerance for outside interruptions during an interview, especially if it’s a fast-paced workplace. But an effective leader will be fully engaged during an interview and won’t be consistently taking calls, answering emails, checking their phone or (we’ve heard this one surprisingly often) leaving the room. This type of behaviour shows a lack of focus at best, and a tactic to seem important at worst. Likewise, does the interviewer let you speak without interruption, and do you feel like you’re being heard? These are questions you should ask yourself as the interview progresses.

4. Have you looked up the company culture online?

When you’re interviewing, it’s important to look at a new opportunity the same way you would look at a major purchase. There’s a huge wealth of information online. So you want to do your homework. Not just in terms of understanding a company and its culture so that you can nail the interview, but also so that you can determine whether it’s going to be a rewarding place to work. You can use sites like glassdoor.com which provide employee feedback about various companies. You can also check out the role on LinkedIn. Run a search for the job and evaluate whether there’s been lots of turnover. Are there tons of people with the same role who were there only for a short while? That could be an indicator of a bad boss.

5. Have you asked them what kind of boss they are?

Sometimes, instead of trying to ascertain a boss’s method of leadership indirectly, it’s helpful to just come out and ask a prospective supervisor about their leadership style to see if it jives with the way you like to work.

It’s certainly the case that not everyone is in a position to pick and choose who they want to work for. But a bad boss can be such a drag on your career that it’s worth considering these questions before you go in for a role.

We love all the discussion this post has generated. Tell us your stories of bad bosses on Twitter using the hashtag #BadBoss!

7 Signs it is Time to Quit your Job

A while back, I wrote an article titled, "7 Management Traits that Will Make All Your Employees Quit." The article produced an amazing conversation surrounding the traits of both effective and ineffective managers that is now 1800 comments deep. Many people were very gracious to share their personal experiences and stories from their careers. In that article, I described a brutal management style that led to all the employees in the regional office to either quit or get fired. In case you missed it here is the link: 7 Management Traits That Will Make All Your Employees Quit

Today, I am going to share with you the story of the day I quit, and provide a few of the signs I experienced that told me it was time to get out of there. When I left this company, for the first time in my life I didn't give two weeks notice. Nor did I type up a thoughtful resignation letter thanking them for the opportunity like I had with other companies I left in the past. When I got to the office on the day I quit I was both nervous and anxious, because my boss was very unpredictable. He had shown violent tendencies in the office, as well as, told stories about his violent past. I think the crazy and violent stories he told us were designed to intimidate us, and it worked. I had no idea how he was going react to the news that I was quitting. I made sure to get to the office before he did so I could have all my stuff packed up and ready to go. When he got there I told him right away. He became very upset and irrational. He threw out some major verbal insults my way. However, at least I got out of there without him inflicting any physical violence on me!

Yes, I know that leaving without giving two weeks notice is very unprofessional. However, the company had shown me no respect, and degraded me to the point that I honestly could not stay there a second longer. The day I quit that job was one of the most liberating experiences in my life. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. As I was leaving, when I got to the lobby area I had a quick decision to make, take the elevator or the stairs. I quickly decided to take the stairs as I could hit them running. I didn't want to wait for the elevator! The feeling I got once I made it to my car and started to drive away was amazing. I truly felt a sense of freedom like I had never felt before!

I had decided to pick up my daughter from daycare, and take her up to Horsetooth Reservoir (pictured here) to go swimming! The next few days were spent relaxing with my family and preparing to move on professionally. This is important, If you quit your job make sure to schedule some time to relax and spend time with your loved ones before starting the new job. If you need help with transitioning or finding a new job check out Mae Chapman's plan.

I'm not advocating quitting your job. However, if you are experiencing some or all of the symptoms I have listed below, it might be time to weigh your options:

1) You can't sleep at night due to the stress and thought of having to go into work the next day. The stress and lack of sleep really began to negatively affect my health.

2) The stress from the job makes you irritable and cranky around your family and friends. I was no fun to be around during this time. This job was so stressful that it started tonegatively affect the relationships with my loved ones.

3) The job has zapped all the life out of you. You are tired all the time and lack the motivation you once had. This can happen when your company has no policy or no intention of ever implementing a work/life balance program for employees.

4) You don't agree with the corporate culture or the direction the company is headed. In my case, the culture was a turn and burn environment. They had a high pressure environment, and we lived in constant fear of losing our jobs. There was no value placed in sales professionals, and the place was a revolving door.

5) Your ideas are not being heard, and your work is not valued. Many companies do a very poor job of recognizing their employees for their hard work and accomplishments. They don't have any concept of the value in saying thank you.

6) The "good old boys club" at the top has made it impossible for advancement. Nobody likes to work in a situation when they know where there is no chance that they can advance within the company. If you see a pattern of upper management hiring their friends over more qualified candidates this is a sign that your company has a "good old boys club."

7) You are the victim of verbal abuse, sexual harassment, or other types of illegal behavior. At the job I quit, I was bullied and verbally abused by my old boss. HR was no help and upper management turned a blind eye to it. DO NOT put up with this!

For me quitting that poisonous job was the one of the best decisions I ever made. Today, I'm in a much better place professionally at Skybeam . I am far less grouchy and stressed. Additionally, I am sleeping much better, and my family likes me a lot more these days. Why did you quit your last job? Was it because of any of the scenarios I described above? Has the grass been greener at your new job or do you regret your decision to leave?

Please note: The company I quit and described in this article and the "7 Management Traits" article, is not listed on my profile. I was only there a short time and have chosen not to include them in my professional highlights. As you can tell by the article the experience with this company was a "low light" to put it mildly.

Six Signs Your Boss Is a Coward

1. He has others fire his direct reports.

This probably is the most cowardly act of the cowardly boss.

I’ve seen this first hand, and probably so have you. If your boss does this, he likes having the authority of his position, but not the responsibility.

And, he does not deserve you.

2. She will make a decision in private, then fail to protect her people in public if it does not work.

This is the classic behavior of someone who lacks confidence and is afraid of making mistakes.

And, she is someone you cannot trust.

3. He tells each person in private what the person “wants to hear,” which means he’s delivering different messages to each.

This is referred to as “divide and conquer.” Rather than having a consistent message and leading by example, he tries to control everyone around him.

And, he is a truly terrible leader.

4. She will not have face-to-face meetings to resolve conflicts.

This behavior goes hand in hand with delivering different messages to each person. If she gets everyone in the same room to resolve differences, or expose and deal with problems, she can’t divide and and conquer.

And, she has blown her cover.

5. He slips in a negative comment about one of your colleagues in every conversation.

You may think he’s complimenting you by confiding in you. But you can bet he does the same when speaking about you.

And, he is a jerk.

6. She really never says anything personal about herself.

She does not make personal connections with people, putting herself above all else – even the company. She is someone who doesn’t really want you to get to know her.

And, if you think about it, why would you want to?

In my decades as a communications consultant, I have worked directly with, and observed, hundreds people who are bosses. The best are genuine, expose their own weaknesses, deal with controversy directly, and do not sweep issues under the rug so they become larger problems.

The worst are cowards – and the way they go about trying to hide their insecurities have just the opposite effect. You can see their fear a mile away.

Now, the question is: Do you have the strength to leave that cowardly boss and find a new one who is a true brave leader?

What To Do When Your Boss Won't Support Your Great Ideas

Frustrated that your company seems to squash you down every time you try to do something innovative at work? You’re probably not imagining that being too creative goes against the party line.

A recent Accenture survey “Corporate Innovation is Within Reach: Nurturing and Enabling an Entrepreneurial Culture,” underlines just how hard it is for people to develop new ideas in a corporate environment, other than in companies like Google and 3M that have gone all out to nurture innovation.

Accenture wrote its report on the survey as a kind of wakeup call for big companies: If they don’t encourage innovation, they are at risk of driving their most innovative employees out the door and losing their edge to foreign competition.

What I saw in it was a compelling argument to ditch corporate America if what you really desire to do is innovate. You’re just going to end up seething in frustration at your desk everyday, while the action happens at other, more nimble companies.

For its survey, Accenture polled 600 corporate workers and 200 “corporate decision makers” — as well as 200 self-employed people.

Most of  findings suggest that corporate environments are squelching grounds for the innovative. Among the corporate employees:

• 53% said their company does not support ideas from people at all levels of the workforce
• 77% say that new ideas are rewarded only when they are implemented and proved to work
• 36% say they are too busy doing their job to pursue new ideas
• 27% have avoided pursuing an idea within their company because they think there may be negative consequences
• While 49% believe that management support for new ideas is important, only 20 percent say that such support exists
• 42% believe that tolerance for failure is important to support innovation, but only 12% believe their company is does a good job of providing this
• More 51% say their company has a timeline of 6 months or less to decide if a new idea has been successful, but 76% say that this period should realistically be stretched to about a year.
• The lack of support is driving some of the most innovative employees to leave and start a business. Among the self employed folks:
• 93% pursued an entrepreneurial idea within their previous company — and 98% believed those ideas were successful
• 57% said their company was not supportive of the results
• 30% said they started a business so they could develop their own ideas, without having to work on other projects
• 52% said having full control of their business was the best aspect of being self-employed.

I should point out that there was some good news in the survey:

• 52% of those surveyed had pursued an entrepreneurial idea within their company — and 72% had it implemented
• Companies have gotten better in supporting entrepreneurialism than five years ago, according to 53% of respondents

69% of the decision makers said that an entrepreneurial attitude is important among individuals in a corporate environment.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Still, Accenture’s advice to big organizations that want to foster innovation underlines the realities that work against those with a more entrepreneurial attitude at every turn.

As the report puts it, “A good place to start would be to help employees learn how to generate the right ideas. A resounding 98% of those whose ideas have been implemented believe their ideas have been successful. In reality, a good portion of employee-generated ideas just aren’t good enough in management’s view. And sometimes these ideas might be less relevant. For instance, they may be too internally focused to support a client’s external needs.”

The consultancy’s advice is to work with employees to help them focus their ideas so they are better aligned with a company’s strategic goals and should provide training to help them focus on the ideas that have the best chance of success. Accenture goes on to recommend that once a company commits to an idea, “companies must create a safety net to identify missteps and help employees get back on track when they falter.”

While this approach may make the idea of supporting innovation palatable to big-company operations teams who don’t want any money to be spent on a single idea that goes nowhere, it doesn’t address the fact that in companies that are actually entrepreneurial, this isn’t how innovation takes place. There is risk involved. There’s no way to take that out of the equation. That’s part of the reason entrepreneurship can be so exciting. It takes people–and companies–to the edge.

Having interviewed hundreds of entrepreneurs every year for more than 15 years, I can’t recall a single entrepreneur ever telling me that he or she was trying to encourage the company’s employees to learn how to generate the “right” ideas. Entrepreneurs understand that there’s an inherent value in experimenting and that even ideas that go nowhere now may bring about learning that sparks the company’s greatest innovation. They don’t see tinkering as wasteful or wrong. They love to break rules–and they like to work with people who think the same way.

While great entrepreneurs generally have strategic goals, they’re not worried about keeping everyone on their teams in lockstep with them. They recognize that some of the company’s best ideas may come from someone who doesn’t think in the same way as everyone else–and aren’t worried about creating a safety net to save employees or the company from the messiness of trying a new project that ends up sputtering. If a project turns out to be a dud, everyone moves onto the next thing.

Of course, entrepreneurial companies typically don’t have to account for every dollar spent to shareholders who do not want to see a company’s employees playing around with their money–the very pressure that keeps big companies from being creative. Corporate workers clearly get this: The survey found that the top two benchmarks they cited for a new innovation to be successful were that it contributes to the bottom line and makes the company more efficient.

Here is my recommendation to giant companies that want to encourage innovation: Cut the CEO’s salary in half. Put that money in an R&D fund, overseen by a board of seasoned entrepreneurs and investors from outside of the company. Ask employees who have an idea for a new product line or service to write business plans and pitch their ideas to this board. Give the employees who come up with the ideas that get approved the majority of the equity–so they have an incentive to focus on ideas that will pay off, just as entrepreneurs do–and reserve the rest of the equity for the company, with a very small portion for the board, as compensation for vetting all of the plans. The blockbuster ideas will have a big payoff for the company even if it is a minority investor.

Meanwhile, if you are a corporate employee who wants to act on your great ideas, here’s an idea. Instead of getting depressed after your boss says no to your next brainstorm, channel your creative energy into finding a job at a company where entrepreneurial thinking is part of the culture–or team up with some other creative colleagues and start your own business. You’re not likely to get a chance to do something ground breaking at a corporation that wants everyone to focus on the “right” ideas.

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